(DIALING PHONE)
Hello, I'm Jeremy Garelick.
And I'm Josh Gad.
And we are doing the commentary
for a little movie called The Wedding Ringer,
without my costar, uh, Kevin Hart.
Because he, apparently, got a little stomach bug,
and he's a baby.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
We miss Kevin, we wish he could be here,
but, uh, Jeremy and I are gonna talk a lot about this process today.
And, also, we're gonna talk a lot of smack about Kevin,
since he's not here to defend himself.
GARELICK: This is actually me on the other line.
GAD: On the other line... That is you.
GARELICK: Not purposely wanting it to remain in the film,
but I was doing all the off-screen lines for you.
GAD: And it actually worked out pretty well.
Another thing that people don't know about this is, we shot this...
How many months before we actually shot the...
GARELICK: Like, four or five months.
GAD: We shot this four or five months before we shot the film,
and this was around the time that Jeremy said to me,
"Josh, I want you to lose a lot of weight."
And I was like, "But nothing's gonna match the film,
"when we do it in four months."
And he comes up with a brilliant line
that he gave me later on in the process,
that kills, uh, which I'll point out when we get there.
GARELICK: Actually, if you notice in the background, um,
all of the football jerseys with all the names, those are... That's, um...
That's where he gets all the names for his groomsmen from.
GAD: That's a Usual Suspects set-up.
GARELICK: By the way, this was the greatest accident of all time.
We did not mean for this table to break,
it just happened on the set.
Which was...
Truthfully one... And I was like,
"Just keep rolling. Just keep rolling."
GAD: It was incredible. My, um...
It turns out I have a stunt ass, uh,
that I didn't know I had.
And it takes... It can shatter glass in 3.5 seconds.
Any glass, doesn't matter how thick it is.
You can put me on top of a SeaWorld aquarium and it will shatter.
GARELICK: The reality is we had that one day to shoot,
and, um, I knew we were gonna be in the beginning of the film.
And we needed a big, big, funny, physical joke right off...
Right off the bat, and we had that one day, and I was like,
"What the hell? May as well go for it there."
And it was a good time.
GAD: Yeah, it was, um...
It was a good time for Jeremy,
because he didn't have to do the stunt.
Jeremy, what can you tell us about that, uh... The lettuce here?
GAD: Yeah, that lettuce that's being put on there.
Is that real lettuce or prop lettuce?
GARELICK: It is actually real lettuce.
Actually, those hands were Shayla, who works with Will Packer...
GAD: Is that true?
GARELICK: Yeah, 'cause the guy who was putting it on couldn't do it right,
so she filled in.
This is, um, actually not one continuous shot,
that was two separate shots that we merged right there,
when we pushed into his back.
GAD: We're doing Gravity types of effects in The Wedding Ringer, guys.
GARELICK: That's right. GAD: We didn't even know that.
GARELICK: That's how they did it in Birdman.
GAD: That's right.
And now all these names that you're seeing here,
this is the cast of the movie, The Wedding Ringer.
That's why their names are appearing,
'cause this is what you call credits.
GARELICK: We shot this at the roof of Downtown Athletic Club.
Kevin's hair and beard were ridiculous.
GAD: I haven't seen such an honest portrayal of a wedding since Godfather.
(GARELICK SNICKERS)
ALL: ♪ Off! ♪
GARELICK: That's Patrick Carlyle.
GAD: And that's Kevin Hart in a 'fro.
That's not really a 'fro, is it? What is that?
GARELICK: It's a 'fro. It's like a...
GAD: It's a type of 'fro.
GARELICK: It's a low-'fro.
You have to know that. Okay.
(CROWD LAUGHING) I ain't lying.
GARELICK: There was a bar mitzvah at the building
across the street during this shoot
that was driving me crazy.
And it was so loud.
And Kevin managed to get through his speech
perfectly,
not being bothered at all by that
insane, insane music across the way.
GAD: A lot of people don't know this about Kevin,
but he actually practices his monologs
against the backdrop of bar mitzvahs on a daily basis,
should something like this arise on any given set.
GARELICK: "Hustle Hart."
GAD: "Hustle Hart."
Comedic rock star, hashtag,
"bar mitzvahs ain't stopping me."
(GAD LAUGHING)
GARELICK: That's, uh, Mary Gutfleisch,
otherwise known as Mary Doodles,
who is a YouTube celebrity.
GAD: You found a lot of unbelievably talented
stars from all sorts of outlets in this film.
From just like...
Jeremy would go to a bunch of comedy clubs,
and he would go on YouTube,
and he would go on Vine.
And every day... I think it's one of
the most unbelievable aspects of this film.
He packed this cast
with people who I had...
A lot of people I had never seen before,
who just are...
Each one of them is a discovery.
Each one of them is unbelievably good.
Especially when it comes to my groomsmen later on,
who, I think, each one of which is a star.
GARELICK: It was, uh, like 4:00...
I think it was 4:30 in the morning when we shot that last scene
with Tristin Mays outside,
and I think Kevin was falling asleep
literally in between every take.
GAD: I kind of remember him falling asleep on most days.
By the way, that's where Kevin is right now.
He's still sleeping.
You're a great kid, but unfortunately, a deal is a deal.
There's no contact after final payment.
I should have charged you more.
I'm serious, man. You got the real deal tonight.
I was in the zone, baby.
Yeah, great. No, we don't do that.
Sure. Thank you, man.
GAD: Something that's established about
Kevin's character early on in this film is,
he doesn't like human contact.
GARELICK: That's, uh, Corey Holcomb.
Where to, boss? Just drive, Otis. Just drive.
GARELICK: Very, very funny standup comedian.
GAD: Very, very funny man.
And these were all practical, right?
GARELICK: See that, um...
GAD: We shot a matte at Disney.
GARELICK: That American flag up there.
There was an American flag on top of the roof,
but I was like, "I need that."
I saw that up there, I was like, "We got to get up there."
So we had a ninja AD climb up there
and put a big fan and a light,
so it lit the American flag.
GAD: And now you can see where we started shooting four months later.
The weight loss becomes very apparent.
And my hair starts becoming a Chia Pet at this point in my life.
GARELICK: Yeah.
GAD: Can we talk about the White Shadow for a second?
GARELICK: (LAUGHS) Yes, we can.
GAD: Can we talk about how Ken Howard...
GARELICK: President of SAG, by the way.
GAD: A revelation in this movie.
The guy
steals this movie
with every filthy thing that comes out of his mouth.
And Ignacio...
GARELICK: Ignacio was the first...
GAD: And only.
GARELICK: The first guy who walked in to audition for that part
and he was so good that I just assumed everybody was gonna...
He was the first guy who auditioned for anything.
GAD: By the way,
what's so unbelievable about his performance in this movie is
that is a really difficult task to pull off.
'Cause it's so easily offensive and he toes the line.
And as you go down the rabbit hole with him,
he creates two distinct characters
that are so
wonderfully rich.
GARELICK: He was the first guy...
He was the first guy who came in
to audition for the movie, and I was like,
"This guy is so good. Is everybody gonna be this good?"
And I didn't know...
And then every single person who came in afterwards was like...
I was like, "The first guy's better. Ignacio's better."
So, finally, I was like, "All right. Here you go."
She'll leave me, I know it. You're not gonna tell her, are you?
She's going to find out soon enough. Oh, God.
Why didn't you say something to me before?
I've been on a bullet train ever since I proposed.
I haven't slept in months.
I can't keep anything down. I keep losing weight. I just...
GAD: And there's the gem.
There's the gem that Jeremy was like, "This will solve our problem."
(BOTH LAUGHING)
GARELICK: By the way, it gets a huge laugh.
GAD: A huge laugh. I'm amazed.
Um, and then we also need to call attention to, uh,
my co-star,
the incredibly beautiful
Kaley Cuoco-Sweeting,
who... GARELICK: And this song, by the way.
GAD: And this song. What is this song?
GARELICK: It's called The Big, Big Bang.
GAD: Oh, thank you. But Kaley
truly, truly did something incredible with this movie,
because she had the unenviable task
of playing a character who could be
considered shrewd and bitchy.
And she made her so distinctly her own.
GARELICK: My father owned a batting cage, where I grew up,
and, basically, inspired this entire location and setting,
'cause I grew up in it, and that's why it's called Arnie's House of...
Arnie's World of Fun, my father's...
GAD: This was, by the way, the other shot...
This was the other scene that we shot
prior to the massive weight-loss campaign.
GARELICK: So suddenly Josh gets much bigger
and then much smaller again.
GAD: I was stuck in the hall. GARELICK: That door.
That was a weight-loss door.
GAD: And then there she is.
Welcome to The Best Man Inc.
GAD: I do a killer impression of her, by the way.
(IMITATING JENIFER LEWIS) "Welcome to The Best Man Inc."
"I'm Jenifer Lewis."
That was Josh Gad, by the way, doing Jenifer Lewis.
These pictures were incredible.
GARELICK: These were so silly.
Yeah, this is Chris Cornwell,
our great Art Department, put it together.
You see that knight back there?
That was a very important part of the story.
GAD: I always find that so weird.
That was real...
That was real ice tea, by the way.
Alone? No. I run a very profitable business because of guys like you.
GARELICK: This was a challenging scene.
This was a really challenging scene on the page,
because we made that change of losing the history
for the "Golden Tux" idea.
We had to, um, figure out how to make the idea of the Golden Tux
have a lot of stakes.
GAD: Jeremy likes writing in Shakespearean verses.
So, uh, Kevin Hart
had a lot of scenes where he had to do 10-page monologs,
while I sat there and gave looks.
I'm like an angel.
I'm only there when you need me to be. (DOOR OPENS)
Excuse me. You got to get going, Jimmy.
Beth Shalom, right? Beth Yirmeyahu.
GARELICK: Both Kevin and Jenifer had a very hard time saying
"Beth Shalom" and "Beth Yirmeyahu."
(LAUGHS) That took a long time.
GAD: That's right, that was, uh,
(IMITATING LEWIS) "Beth... Jeremy, what?"
"Beth..."
GARELICK: "Try it again.
"Beth Yirmeyahu."
GAD: "Beth..."
GARELICK: "Uh, it's okay, take a breath, take your time.
"It's, uh, Beth Yirmeyahu."
GAD: "Rita?"
Hancock Park, Bel Air, Palisades?
Downtown, Millennium Biltmore.
GARELICK: Oh, so Millennium Biltmore gave us a special deal
to shoot there, if we mentioned it, like, six times in the film.
So that's why we said that.
We took a lot of money from a lot of people in this movie,
so that we could make it... We could make our budget.
...plus an additional three groomsmen
to balance out the bridesmaids.
For an extra thousand dollars,
I'll throw you a bachelor party to your liking.
How are you looking on groomsmen? Not good at all.
Not good as in you need one or two?
I need seven.
You need seven groomsmen? I do.
GARELICK: That knight in the background always drives me crazy.
I always wanted to say...
I always wanted to give him a voice or something. (GAD LAUGHS)
(IN DEEP VOICE) "Jimmy."
GAD: Like a random Bedknobs and Broomsticks character.
I feel like one of these days, audiences deserve to see
your three-and-a-half-hour director's cut that you did.
GARELICK: Really? Should we let...
GAD: I think one of these days, maybe we should add that...
GARELICK: You would love it.
GAD: I can't... I've never seen this infamous
Blade Runner-style cut of the film. (GARELICK LAUGHS)
I invited everybody to watch the first cut
that I saw.
It was the editor's cut.
I invite, like, six or seven people.
Okay, so this to me was the most important scene in the movie,
because we were really showing how much he, um...
How much Josh...
I'm so screwed up by talking in the thing.
We're showing how much Josh needs this
and how much he really loves her.
Or at least thinks how much he loves her.
GAD: In other words, it's establishing character.
That's what Jeremy wanted to say. GARELICK: Thank you.
GAD: But he didn't have the courage to say it.
We were up late last night at the premiere of our movie, by the way,
so forgive us if we're both...
GARELICK: After several Scotches...
GAD: ...hangover commentary today.
GARELICK: This was hilarious.
That line came out of the...
I remember that line came from
the fact that I didn't realize that he drove there
and then they were going somewhere else.
It was just an illogical thing to ask.
GAD: Yeah, that's right.
GARELICK: This scene is hilarious.
It was so fun to shoot.
GAD: Oh, this is one that lasts...
That you could do, easily, a 10-minute cut of.
GARELICK: We have a 10-minute... See that guy?
The dead guy is my friend John Stern.
GAD: Every time I see John, I feel so badly.
GARELICK: He gave us, um...
(STAMMERS) I had him do that. GAD: He also gave us a deal.
GARELICK: He gave us a deal. He gave us cases and cases of Red Bull
for our bachelor party.
Um, that was the exchange.
GAD: This is the cheapest movie
I've ever worked on in my life. (GARELICK LAUGHS)
"Pupil Jew-Jew."
...all they could see was my eye pupils. "Pupil Jew-Jew."
GAD: I think I laughed more in this scene, when we shot,
than I did in any scene that I've ever shot.
It was so offensive and it was so funny.
And, uh, I look up,
and I see Stu.
GARELICK: Oh, the outtakes of this...
That is iJustine,
another YouTube sensation.
Justine Ezarik.
GAD: iJosh.
iWanna...
(BOTH LAUGHING)
GAD: I'm not gonna finish that,
in case iJustine watches.
...with a face full of corn
a handful of napkins and a smile...
GARELICK: You can hear, uh, the music here
has a little bit of Hatikva in it.
GAD: Does it? GARELICK: Yeah.
(SINGING HEBREW PRAYER)
I am so, so sorry. I mean, I had no idea. (ENGINE STARTS)
This could have easily waited.
Man, don't worry about it.
All those things that you said about him, those incredible things.
GAD: There was a great improv line that was cut from this scene, what was it?
GARELICK: When they were... We cut the whole scene on the sidewalk.
"We'll plant a tree in Israel."
GAD: (LAUGHING) Oh, yeah.
GARELICK: That was so funny. (SNICKERING)
There you are, "Arnie's World of Fun."
God, this was my favorite scene...
This was my favorite day of shooting.
GAD: This is when Kevin really...
You're hiring a best man. Got it.
GAD: "Bic Mitchum."
GARELICK: The line on the script was...
The line on the page was,
"Bic Mitchum, I like it."
And then I went up to Kevin and I said,
"You should just play with this.
"Take on other personas and try to just have fun."
And then this is what Josh and Kevin did. (LAUGHING)
And this is one-fiftieth of what they actually did.
Bic. Hey, ladies, what's going on?
My name is Bic and I got the dick. (INHALES SHARPLY)
What's happening right now? I'm Bic Mitchum.
Hey, you put that down
and if someone asks you who said it,
you tell them Bic Mitchum said it.
What do you mean that there's no more candy?
I'm Bic Mitchum and I love candy.
I'm Bic. Where's the pussy at? What?
Fuck you! Wait.
Fuck you, man! No, Bic can't have these...
Bic Mitchum can have whatever the fuck he wants!
Bic, Bic, Bic.
All right. I like it.
GARELICK: This is when I knew that I had a really easy job with these guys.
And I didn't have to do that much,
because it was just basically,
"Let these guys go and have fun.
"And don't cut too early."
(GAD LAUGHING)
Yo, what the fuck are you doing? What are you doing?
GAD: That hug would make me laugh every time.
What do we do now?
You go get some rest.
Take care of them bags under your eyes.
Stop hugging strangers.
God created the world in seven days.
I got to do a whole lot more in a lot less time.
I got to go find you some damn friends.
Just keep your eye on the ball, you little fucker.
GAD: Colin.
GARELICK: Colin Kane, I went and saw him at The Improv probably four years ago,
and I thought he was one of the dirtiest, most inappropriate comedians
that I had ever seen,
and I, uh, would bring...
I probably went to, like, six or seven of his shows
and when the opportunity for him to...
The opportunity for Plunkett came around to make this movie,
I thought he would be great.
He's a good-looking guy, so I had to make him look ugly.
GAD: Yeah, we did some wonders on a lot of these guys.
MARCI: Hurry up and finish the van. I'm hungry.
Okay, I'll be right there.
Look, Jimmy, I'd love to help you out...
GAD: By the way, can we just
applaud the fact that Hurley is in our movie? (APPLAUDING)
That's a geek fest for me.
Jorge Garcia, one of the nicest human beings alive.
He's so good.
GARELICK: Amy Okuda off-screen.
There's GloZell. GAD: There's GloZell.
Being felt up by Affion Crockett,
who makes me laugh relentlessly.
GARELICK: I love that Kevin was pretending to read the paper there,
just so we could block his face,
so we could have a reveal. (LAUGHING)
There was no reason. "Kevin, lift that paper up."
GAD: That is a great jacket.
GARELICK: That jacket is really great.
Reggie, I don't need... Okay? Of course I'm in.
GAD: How did you find Affion?
GARELICK: I've done, um... I did a short that Affion was in
and then I did a TV show called The Rebels that Affion was in.
Um, so I've just been a fan of his for a long time.
This is what we were talking about, this scene.
This was the famous "bra versus no bra" scene. GAD: Mmm-hmm.
We chose bra, as you can tell.
That is so not fair. You know I'm trying
to lose 4.2 pounds before the wedding.
Well, I think you look beautiful just the way you are.
GARELICK: It's actually, um...
Yeah. We were running out of time
and Kaley said, "Oh, my gosh, I don't have a bra."
And...
I think it was Josh who suggested,
"Yeah, just do it without it." (BOTH LAUGHING)
GAD: That is not true.
You know...
Honest to God,
every time I see Kaley in this movie, I'm like, "She is truly..."
She just glows onscreen. She's like...
GARELICK: She's beautiful.
GAD: She feels like she's going to be the next Jen Aniston.
After that little show that she's on is over.
That little behemoth called The Bang.
GARELICK: "That's a lot of quotes" was a nice improv there.
GAD: This scene was a lot longer, too.
GARELICK: Yeah. That's so funny.
But the article says this will enhance
our emotional reunification.
I know. Maybe we could take one night off.
GAD: We did a bunch of improvs on the song that was playing in the back,
because you didn't know what rights you could get.
GARELICK: So we had like 15 different...
"Is that Boyz II Men?
"Is that Ingrid Michaelson?
"Is that Evan and Jaron?
"Is that Ladysmith Black Mambazo?" (BOTH LAUGHING)
GAD: Oh, Dan Gill.
Dan Gill makes me laugh, whatever he does.
He's just got the driest, funniest sensibility.
Party tricks. Yeah, okay.
(SHOULDER DISLOCATES) Oh!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Shit. DORIS: Oh, my God.
So, that's kind of it.
I just need a wall. No, no, no!
(ALL GROANING) No, don't, please.
GARELICK: He actually hurt himself on this.
GAD: I remember that.
GARELICK: He really hurt himself. (LAUGHING)
GARELICK: Ah, that is so funny. GAD: Oh, Aaron.
GAD: How did you find Aaron?
GARELICK: Um, Nate, my assistant/associate producer,
showed me a commercial that he did, um,
for a cellphone,
and he was just hilarious, I thought he would be perfect.
Alan Ritchson. GAD: And then there's the gem.
GARELICK: I think Alan Ritchson is going to be a massive movie star.
GAD: Absolutely.
GARELICK: He's going to be a superhero. He's going to be...
GAD: The guy is like,
one, he's unbelievably good-looking,
two,
he is one of the funniest people
I've ever met. (GARELICK LAUGHING)
That idea, actually, the idea for the twitch
came from James Lopez.
That was not in the... The twitch was never in the script.
And then James Lopez was like,
"What if he has a twitch?"
GAD: Such a good call. GARELICK: Such a funny idea.
GAD: Each one of these guys brought characters
that, while good on the page,
were not nearly a tenth of what they made with this.
GARELICK: What's so funny about this was that
Corey spent months practicing those lines...
GAD: And he couldn't do it? ...backwards.
No, he was perfect,
but everybody else didn't really give a shit about the lines,
so they were just saying whatever lines they wanted to say
and he couldn't repeat it back.
I was like, "No, no. That doesn't match up."
So it was the only place
where we needed everybody to say the lines
exactly, like, word for word.
Try the Roquefort Buttermilk.
(GAGS)
Is it too tangy?
Uh, maybe a little. A little?
GARELICK: This is just, sort of...
I mean, the whole movie is talking about the absurdity of weddings,
but the amount of pressure that people put...
So funny with the hand there.
The amount of pressure they put on the stupid little details
and the importance.
It puts so much pressure on a couple getting married
that it's just... It's so unfair.
You know I can't make a decision without you.
(SIGHS)
Damn it. I was going to keep this a surprise, but...
What? Bic is flying in tomorrow morning.
Bic? The Bic?
Yeah. I have to go pick him up from the airport.
You are kidding!
Oh, I'm so excited! I wanted to keep it a surprise.
This is so great. Bring him to lunch with you.
GARELICK: God, this seems like so long ago.
I'm trying to remember, but I'm like, "That was so long ago."
How did that salad dressing taste, Josh?
GAD: I actually still remember it,
'cause you made me taste it about 2,000 times. It was terrible.
GARELICK: I was trying to get you to match, uh,
your weight from the first scene.
He is your best man and I have never met him, okay?
You cannot tell me he's flying in and not
bring him to lunch tomorrow. Are you crazy?
(STAMMERS) Okay.
Take my hand. I'll pull you in. No!
Stay where you are. I mean it. I'll let go.
Oh.
(GRUNTS) (STRAINING)
BOTH: ♪ Near, far... ♪
Hey. Doug's on line one. Something's wrong.
What's going on, Tonto?
DOUG: Hey, there. We've got a bit of a problem.
What the hell were you thinking? She cornered me.
Doug, in the future, if somebody asks you something
that boxes you in, you boomerang it. "Boomerang"?
You respond with either a compliment or a question.
Compliments are for women. Questions are for men.
If I were to ask you something about Bic
that you and I haven't discussed,
what would you say, Doug?
You're, um, very handsome. Thank you, Doug.
GAD: This was a really fun day.
Again, a lot of great improvs
left on the cutting room floor
that will hopefully, one day... They'll see their time.
GARELICK: That was the random words we...
We set it up a lot, so that for the payoff at the lunch
with "red-hot pussy seltzer."
On your right, you'll see Lyle Alzado,
in the right corner.
...we can tread enough water
to fake a stomach cramp and run away. How did we meet?
Uh, freshman year, Stanford.
That means I'm smart.
GAD: You really did a good job of layering the clues.
Like a Usual Suspects homage.
GARELICK: Thank you.
You did a good job at acting.
GAD: Thank you.
Kevin, you did a good job at...
GARELICK: Oh, wait. GAD: ...not coming to work today.
An Army guy that's the best man
not hitting on the bridesmaids?
They'll think I'm a homosexual.
Well, uh, actually...
GARELICK: Josh and Kevin were very, very good at
pointing out when there was a lack of continuity in the film.
As a first-time director, I didn't really care about continuity,
and they were always pointing out which...
And they were so good at it.
So if you watch the film closely, you may have some times
where Josh is holding the cup in his left hand
and then it cuts back to the right hand. (BOTH LAUGHING)
...because I'm a fucking priest and I can't
cuss around your family, Doug. Fuck!
Oh, come on. That's the last one.
GARELICK: That was all an improv.
Jill Abromowitz, freshman year.
GAD: There were a lot of these that we made up right on the spot.
Made up on the spot.
GARELICK: And we probably have a half hour more of this.
Does your foot roll inward or outward? Outward.
GARELICK: That was a Kevin one.
GAD: "That explains the weight gain."
If you could pick your favorite superhero, who would it be?
Is Pac-Man a superhero?
No, he's not, Doug.
GAD: Now that, that was me setting up an homage for my upcoming film, Pixels.
Where am I from?
You're from North Dakota.
Ask me why you're from North Dakota.
Tell me why I'm from North Dakota.
Because who the fuck knows anybody from North Dakota?
I want to hear my name again. What's my name?
Oh, you are motherfucking Bic Mitchum! Rhythm.
BOTH: Motherfucking Bic Mitchum.
Motherfucking Bic Mitchum. Motherfucking... (EXCLAIMS)
What are your phobias?
Uh, I fear raccoons.
Favorite sport, Doug?
GAD: That hat on my head, we got a deal from the Russian military...
(BOTH LAUGHING)
GARELICK: A lot of product placement in the foreground here.
JIMMY: Oh, shit.
Doug! Doug!
GARELICK: This was really fun.
GAD: This is my obligatory ass-crack shot. GARELICK: Ass crack.
JIMMY: ...remember your compliments, boomerang, random words.
DOUG: Use random words.
Specifically, which random words should I use?
GARELICK: Another random word set-up,
for the pay-off in the next scene.
What if they start asking too many questions?
GARELICK: Kevin got this monolog in one take.
GAD: Did he? I don't remember that.
...you're near-sighted, you supinate,
you prefer full moons over sunsets...
GARELICK: That's because it took him about six hours to get this,
from 16 different angles.
...and you played the violin until you were 19 years old.
GARELICK: We're about to get a joke that people and audiences respond to,
where you see, um, his camouflage pants.
GAD: I'm always stunned by that response.
GARELICK: 'Cause I never even knew it was a joke.
I didn't even intend for it to be a joke.
And every single time we play it in the theater, people laugh.
And it's just... It's the one spot in the movie
where there's a laugh where I wasn't...
That I didn't think there was ever gonna be a laugh.
GAD: I love it.
GARELICK: We never even intended for there being one.
This is another Kev improv.
The line on the page was, um...
The line on the page was like...
What was it? "I can't do this." Or something.
And then Kevin went off and did this whole thing.
GAD: This scene is... GARELICK: This was basically,
I went up to Kevin and told him sort of
the backstory of what went into the guy, um...
Bic Mitchum's story, about this guy who did drugs
and shot up on needles, and all that stuff.
And all this stuff... GAD: It was all improv-ed.
GARELICK: He improv-ed. GAD: It was incredible.
Which means, yes,
I may have been to a point
where I was sucking dick for money.
But that day when I woke up face down in that snowbank,
I didn't know where I was.
I didn't even know who I was.
And I remember squinting because
I was being blinded by this bright light.
I couldn't see a thing.
And when I finally opened my eyes, I saw Jesus.
You saw Jesus?
Oh, I saw Jesus.
He was in Mary's arms in the nativity scene at St. Michael's.
And I wept. But they weren't tears of pain.
These were tears of joy.
From having found my path, of course.
So, Father...
Call me Bic, please.
What made you decide to go into the military?
Mmm. That's a great question.
Some people are called on to serve God.
Others are called to serve our country.
Those who are chosen to serve both,
they're called Army chaplains.
I got a two-way call from the big fellow himself.
(LAUGHING)
A priest in the military. Yeah.
It's interesting. Do they have a "don't ask,
"don't tell" policy on child molesting?
(COUGHS) Dad!
(LAUGHING)
(HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHING)
Oh, it's okay. It's okay.
That's pretty good. I've never heard that one. Now, that's a good one.
Well, I try.
Clever. No, it wasn't.
Somebody call the firemen
because this is hot, hot, hot! Okay?
Do not touch. (LAUGHING)
So, listen, if you opt against
the Russian mushroom bisque,
we can always go into a more rustic theme
with the Chilean chili.
I'll be back with the croutons.
So, Bic, uh, where are you from originally?
Originally? North Dakota.
No kidding. What town? Henderson.
I've never heard of Henderson.
Oh, Henderson's a very small town, Ed.
Oh, where is it in relation to Bismarck?
Are you familiar with North Dakota?
Ed's uncle has a ranch up there.
GARELICK: Here is the famous lunch scene. Now, the big...
The biggest challenge to this is
we needed to figure out how...
GAD: Well, the biggest challenge was,
"Will Cloris Leachman catch on fire quickly,
"or will it take a while for her skin to light up?"
GARELICK: She actually did this stunt by herself.
She actually spent years, um, building up an immunity to fire.
GAD: That's right. GARELICK: So she was able to...
GAD: No. The stuntwoman who did this was unreal.
She put all sorts of stuff on her face and straws in her nose,
and was very brave as firemen were waiting by to put her out.
GARELICK: The biggest logical challenge and debate
we had during this entire thing is,
why would they have candles on the table for brunch?
And I'm like, "Nobody's gonna care!"
Everyone's like, "No. But you can't have
"candles on a table for a brunch."
(GASPS) Right? Right.
Yeah. That sounds right.
What did you just say? DOUG: Hmm?
I think you said, "Red-hot pussy seltzer."
Why would you say that? ED: Red-hot pussy seltzer?
GRETCHEN: Honey?
GARELICK: This question was an improv.
GAD: Was that your idea?
GARELICK: You come up with a question and have Cloris just answer.
So this is where Josh is about to just confess to the whole thing.
GAD: By the way, that smile right there? That's me laughing.
That was me about to laugh and you used that take that I screwed up.
That's good, Jeremy. That's good editing.
Oh, God!
Sorry. I didn't know it was that hot, guys.
I'm so sorry. It's okay.
GRANDMA: I'm on fire! JIMMY: Oh, my God!
Shit! No! She's on fire!
It's an inferno! JIMMY: Holy shit!
(SCREAMING)
GARELICK: Josh throws a bun, a piece of bread at her.
Like, watch... Watch. That's my favorite part of the whole thing,
is when he takes a piece of bread and...
There it is. (BOTH LAUGHING)
Like the piece of bread is going to do anything except for...
She just caught fire so fast.
GARELICK: We had a scene in here that was really funny that we had to cut.
GAD: What? GARELICK: Where he has to do the prayer.
Where Kevin does the poem and the prayer. GAD: Oh, yeah.
I love her. You know that. What happened?
No, I mean, how do you like her?
GAD: We had a lot of... GARELICK: This is a Todd Phillips joke.
"How do you like her?"
GAD: I love that laugh that Kevin came up with.
Oh, thank God. Come on, let's go see her.
GARELICK: This was the last day of shooting, wasn't it?
GAD: No.
GARELICK: Are you sure? GAD: Positive.
GARELICK: The hospital. It was.
GAD: It was not the last day of shooting.
The very last day of shooting was the other hospital scene
with the boys later on.
GARELICK: That... We did it all on the same day.
GAD: We did this in the morning and that in the afternoon.
GARELICK: Did we? GAD: Yeah.
I just remember the boys being in the hospital.
GARELICK: Remember everyone was goofing around?
And, you know, I made the all-campus team a couple times in football.
I was an all-conference nose tackle.
GARELICK: (SNIFFLES) Everyone was...
Everyone was hugging each other.
GAD: It was sad.
GARELICK: It was really sad. It was like going to camp.
You know, the old-timers versus the groomsmen.
What do you say?
I think that's quite the invitation, Ed,
but there's so much going on.
I just feel like there's not enough time.
Oh, what's the matter, Bic?
Afraid of getting your asses kicked by some old-timers?
I don't think so, Pops.
All things considered, not that bad for a Shotgun Intro.
Not that bad? I just set Gretchen's grandmother on fire.
Wrong. We sacrificed Grandma for the sake of the mission.
I feel terrible.
Feelings are irrelevant in the big con.
What's important is that our cover wasn't blown.
Every test that we encounter will be the same, pass or fail.
As long as we pass, it doesn't matter how we do it.
I still can't believe they actually bought all that.
People believe because they have no reason not to.
We're going to have to be on top of our game.
That family was sharp.
Come on, we've to go.
I've got some really important people waiting on us.
(ALL GREETING)
GARELICK: This is the intro to all of the groomsmen.
You're losing weight, fat ass.
ENDO: Oh, he had to lose weight.
GARELICK: And Josh's brilliant Goonies joke.
(LAUGHS)
Who are these people? What, are you kidding?
GARELICK: This is just an example of the, um, R-ratedness
and where you're allowed to have the freedom to just say whatever you want.
And we talked about how the fact that this guy's got a dark past
and he raped dudes in prison.
But if you throw a tuxedo on him,
there's nobody better than him.
Just the idea is so crazy.
Every time.
GARELICK: "Every time." GAD: "Every time."
I love the backstory that all of these guys created for themselves.
For one thing, it looks like the entire cast of Goonies
grew up and became rapists.
This one in particular looks like
he just broke out of a federal fucking prison.
What you need to do is keep it down because he did.
And he raped a lot of men in there. Yes.
Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus.
GAD: I love the backstory that he's the rapist.
GARELICK: Like, we managed to get away with making a movie
where there is a rapist
who's a likeable guy. GAD: Yeah.
GARELICK: Who, like, you love. It's like...
GAD: He's a man-rapist.
Prison man-rapist.
GARELICK: Who throws kids into baseballs.
GAD: Yeah. And he doesn't wanna rape.
He doesn't wanna rape guys anymore.
GARELICK: He has to.
GAD: I remember the boys ate so many chicken wings
and yet none of it made...
That one shot made it and everybody got sick.
GARELICK: The next scene was the most challenging scene.
GAD: This scene is cut so insanely,
because the line... (BOTH LAUGHING)
GARELICK: Can you do Jenifer in this scene?
GAD: (IMITATING) "Hey!" She could not say the words, "Provo, Utah."
It was... It eluded her, for whatever reason.
So every single take, it was,
(IMITATING) "From Provo, Utah." (GARELICK SNICKERING)
"From Bonjo, Bubah."
GARELICK: She also had an issue with, like, the props.
There was some issue with the props. GAD: Yeah.
GARELICK: She is so funny. Oh, God.
I have to say, all these guys seem a little off,
but you at least look normal.
Oh, thanks, Doug...
GARELICK: This look that Josh gives right here, is one of my favorite...
(GAD LAUGHING) One of my favorite moments in the whole movie.
GARELICK: Just that look right there.
You're a vegan.
You're also working on your first book called The Way of Wonder.
GAD: I kept joking around with Jeremy,
'cause I had, like, two lines for every Kevin Hart 200 lines,
that at times I felt like I was making a kabuki film for all my faces.
GARELICK: "The Hundred Looks of Josh Gad."
GAD: I was like,
"Jeremy, I'm running out of faces to do in this movie."
(ALL LAUGHING) Well, it's not funny.
I'm supposed to crush ass.
I told him he was going to crush ass.
Argh! JIMMY: Listen up.
Double check your measurements and perfect your PTD's, guys.
GARELICK: We didn't have a... We never had a good PTD for Kevin,
which I regret.
Um, he did... We just improv-ed a couple on the spot.
And we couldn't really use them,
'cause they didn't come out that funny.
GAD: What would his PTD be?
GARELICK: I don't know. I mean, we just... 'Cause I never even...
We never wrote it into the script that he had one.
And he should've given the example. GAD: I smell a sequel.
What his party trick distraction is. (GARELICK LAUGHING)
GAD: Wedding Ringer 2: The Party Trick Distraction.
Actually, you could've gotten a good laugh
by giving me a PTD, too, that I have to...
It's true. GARELICK: Jesus!
GAD: You really left a lot on the table with this one, Jeremy.
GARELICK: God damn.
GAD: Look at this.
He gets good cuts.
You cut away from him every five seconds,
'cause there was no take that you could just... (BOTH LAUGHING)
GAD: He kept screwing this monolog up.
This has never been done, gentlemen.
Let's go make some fucking history, huh?
GARELICK: This is my favorite part of the movie.
Have I said that for every scene? GAD: Yeah, you kind of have.
GARELICK: What I love about this is that you're...
You're having, like, a friendship montage, where you're all...
You're getting to know each other
and you're becoming friends...
GAD: By faking it. Right. GARELICK: ...by faking becoming friends.
And you're creating this history together.
And we have this amazing song
that's playing right now about friendship. Um...
There's no reason for him to be in the wheelchair at this time.
It just... He's getting... He's practicing it.
They brought the wheelchair on the ice.
Oh, it was so freezing out there.
He brings the wheelchair on the ice.
Another. There's no reason for them to...
They could have just rented a lane.
But, instead, had to, like, steal a lane. (LAUGHING)
This was just so fun.
It was just these guys getting to know each other and...
GAD: Were there any others that we cut?
GARELICK: No. We got everything.
(AS BRIDE) What are you doing?
(AS GROOM) It's a trick I learned in Vietnam.
Oh, my God. What are you doing?
Just prepping for a little bit of this.
Tahiti?
(SQUEALS) Voted the number-one
most romantic honeymoon destination.
That's amazing!
It's going to be incredible.
Oh, my gosh. Honey, that's... (MOANING)
Hey, what has gotten into you this week?
I've just never seen you so frisky.
I just feel really good about everything.
We're getting married on Saturday.
It's exciting. Your friends are gonna be there.
(INHALES) My friends are all gonna be there.
I just hope it all goes smoothly.
I checked the 10-day forecast.
GARELICK: So what's really important for me was to make sure that
we were rooting for this wedding to happen
from the start of the movie, and we really...
'Cause we wanted these guys to pull off the con.
We wanted them to succeed.
So I really wanted to be subtle
with Kaley, um,
as to when we start to not really
want them to end up together.
And this was the point in the script where that happened.
Okay, this was entirely improv.
This, we had one camera and half an hour,
and all these guys just came up with all this stuff,
which was just ridiculous.
I'm a doctor. What type?
Podiatrist. Is that right?
I think that's right. That's what it says?
Yeah. I'm a kid doctor.
GARELICK: This... This is literally just funny people sitting in a room
with a camera and a microphone.
My name is Hobie Plunkett and I collect...
Playbills. Cabbage Patch Kids?
No, man, it's exotic pets, you dumb motherfucker.
Dumb? You can't even say "Patagonia," you idiot.
Garvey's family owns a "blank" farm.
Chinchillas.
Nice.
Hey, come on, we have to hammer out this toast, man.
Right.
They're going to want to know why she's "the one."
It's like a band playing their most popular song.
The crowd is just waiting to hear it.
Let's start with the first time you saw her.
Oh, she was wearing a dress.
And she was pretty.
That's it? Why are you marrying her? Why are you in love with her?
What makes her different than any other girl that you ever met?
She talked to me. She talked to you?
What? Yeah, seriously. Her dad was a client at the firm.
I had seen her a couple of times,
but she never gave me the time of day.
And then one day I ran into her, and it was just different.
She knew my name, she asked me to go get a sandwich.
You're not helping me. You have to dig deep.
Like, "From across the room, she looked at me
"and I swear it was like slow motion.
"All the room stood still. I closed my eyes and I reached out my hand,
"and in return, I got a soul.
"And that's when I knew that we were soul mates."
That's what I need, Doug.
But that's not real.
(SIGHS)
All right, Tonto. Do you want to see real?
GARELICK: I was on a, um...
I had a show-and-tell from our props guy.
And he showed me all sorts of different bongs.
'Cause we just had to have a bong there.
And he showed me a coconut bong.
And I was like, "Let's go with the coconut bong."
And then I remember my college roommate Jake.
He had this... He used to play the Lime in the Coconut song all the time.
So I immediately called our music supervisor, Spring Aspers,
and I said, "Can you clear Lime in the Coconut
"for us to sing 'weed in the coconut?"'
And then...
GAD: I remember looking at you
when you brought up the whole coconut thing
and being like, "This is the weirdest,
"most specific comedic beat
"I've ever heard somebody pitch."
And it wasn't like it was in the script.
GARELICK: No, 'cause it came after I saw the prop.
GAD: Wait, wait, wait. Before we do the "weed in the coconut,"
I just wanna say I think that this is one of the most
inspired conceits in the movie
that Ignacio's character is,
we think, an effeminate gay.
Then we think he's straight.
And then this is revealed. (GARELICK LAUGHING)
GAD: That he's actually... He is gay.
But he's masculine gay.
Nachos?
The guy's getting married in a week
and you're gonna offer him nachos?
Look at him! What do you think cheese is going to do to him?
I thought they wanted nachos.
Use your fucking head.
I'm going to take some. Sit down, Jimmy!
I tried. (SHOUTING IN SPANISH)
GAD: So now going back to the "weed in the coconut."
I was entirely convinced that this wouldn't work.
And at first, it was just supposed to be the three of us singing.
And I looked at you and I go, "I wanna try something weird."
GARELICK: I don't even think you said, "I wanna try something."
I think you just did it on a take and it lit up. Immediately, I...
Everyone started laughing and I was like...
And it was almost like Josh was just playing around, like...
Like fucking around. GAD: Yeah.
GARELICK: And immediately I'm like, "No."
And then we shifted the scene. I was like, "We need to..."
And we did it 100 times.
♪ You put the weed in the coconut ♪
(GAD LAUGHING)
GARELICK: It was so hard for Kevin and Josh...
For Kevin and Ignacio not to laugh.
We kept doing it, 'cause they kept laughing.
Oh, God. That was so funny.
GAD: Uh, the infamous dance scene.
This was another scene where God blessed Jeremy Garelick.
Kevin and I were both like...
At first... When you first presented this to us,
by the way, lest I remind you,
there were about 10 dance sequences that you wanted us to do.
Like, the dance sequence was much longer. GARELICK: Yeah.
GAD: And Kevin and I looked at each other. (LAUGHING)
We were working with a...
Like an, I don't know, official choreographer
from So You Think You Can Dance or something like that.
GARELICK: Oh, yeah. GAD: Yeah. A crazy choreographer.
GARELICK: Travis Wall.
GAD: Travis had us in a...
In a confined room for two or three days,
working on these dances and...
GARELICK: Kevin was sick when we first rehearsed that, too, remember?
It was Josh rehearsing and Kevin laying on the couch.
GAD: This happens a lot with Kevin. (GARELICK LAUGHING)
GAD: Oh, brilliant, Josh Peck, destroyed. GARELICK: Josh Peck.
GAD: Most of this was improv.
But, yeah, so we were... I was very concerned.
Kevin and I were both like,
"Uh, wait. So you want two grown men
"doing a 10-minute dance onscreen together.
"And you think this will work, why?"
And once again Jeremy proved us wrong.
The idiot savant won again.
GARELICK: Gotta be honest, I...
A lot of times, I had no idea.
I was just like, "I don't know. Let's just do it."
GAD: It's so wonderful to watch this scene
with an audience every time.
It's just... It brings the house down.
GARELICK: My favorite part about this scene is, um, the fact that my cantor
and my bar mitzvah teacher
and my father-in-law was a wedding singer.
And was a wedding singer for not only my bar mitzvah,
but also several of the weddings that I've been to.
And I wrote this part in for him, like, years ago.
Before I knew you and Kevin.
GAD: He killed it.
GARELICK: That's him right there.
Josh Peck is so funny.
GAD: He's so good.
GARELICK: This was Day 2 or 3...
GAD: There was a great Hitler improv, too, that he had in that...
What was that?
GARELICK: "As Adolf Hitler once said..."
GAD: "As Adolf Hitler once said..."
As he's trying to find the words in the script.
GARELICK: Steve Greene of SteveGreeneComedy,
another famous YouTube star.
These guys were so special, um,
with their commitment to learning how to dance.
And they did such a good job.
We brought in two amazing dance doubles,
who were fantastic.
And I think there's one shot of those guys in the film.
GAD: Yeah, I'm very happy the way this turned out.
Come on, you lead.
No, I don't want to lead.
Okay, then, fine, be the chick, Doug.
GAD: The one that gave me the most trouble,
unsurprisingly, was the Dougie.
(BAND PLAYING TANGO MUSIC)
GARELICK: This was Day 3 of shooting. GAD: Mmm-hmm.
I remember being so nervous,
I was like, "How are we starting this shoot off
"with two days of this?"
Twelve years of dance lessons.
My mom said, "One day, they would come in handy."
GARELICK: I wanted to do... See that chandelier in there?
I wanted to do this stunt...
GAD: I remember that.
GARELICK: ...where you do the Dirty Dancing thing and Josh lifts Kevin up,
and Kevin gets caught in the chandelier and starts hanging,
and the chandelier falls.
But we would have had to take a lot more
product placements in order to do that.
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah
♪ Teach me how to dougie
♪ Teach me, teach me how to dougie
♪ Teach me how to dougie
♪ Teach me, teach me how to dougie
♪ All my women love me
♪ All my... All my women love me
♪ All my women love me
♪ You ain't messing with my dougie ♪
GARELICK: It's just so fun to watch.
GAD: I know. GARELICK: You know what it is,
I think there's a difference, sometimes, between fun and funny.
GAD: Yeah. GARELICK: And you can enjoy fun
as much as you can enjoy funny.
GAD: It's true.
This scene never gets old for...
This movie doesn't get old for me.
I enjoy watching it every time.
♪ La, la, la, la
(WHISPERING) You bastard.
GARELICK: (LAUGHING) "You bastard."
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪
GARELICK: This is just ridiculous.
Peter Gilroy.
Famous... GAD: He had some very funny...
GARELICK: He was very, very funny.
Unfortunately, um, he's in the three-and-a-half-hour cut.
GAD: This was the one that was the hardest for Kevin and I.
GARELICK: But it was great.
I think that's the shot with the double, right there.
(MUSIC STOPS) (GUESTS CHEERING)
GAD: Then, this next scene, for me, is the most special one in the movie,
because it just allows Kevin and I to...
After what has, up to this point, been a very loud film,
Jeremy trusts the movie enough to just quiet it all down
and let two guys talk
and reveal everything the audience needs to know about themselves
and how they got to this place in their lives.
GARELICK: This is actually a true story.
That's how... That's where the idea came from for the movie.
I just put it right in.
...the bride's brother,
and this Filipino exchange student.
And it was so sad, Doug.
Everybody is thinking, "Why in the hell
"would this woman marry this loser?"
So, I grab the microphone and I just get to talking about
how we climbed the Himalayas, how we fished for sharks,
how this guy saved me in a barroom brawl one time.
So much bullshit.
And I look over and I see the bride. She's got his arm, Doug.
She's got his arm so tight and she's glowing.
Because she's marrying this amazing guy.
This man comes up to me and goes, "Wow.
"I would pay money
"to have somebody talk like that about me at my wedding."
Light bulb.
That's the day that this wedding hustle was born.
That's the day that I became The Wedding Ringer.
(CHUCKLES)
Now, I don't want you to think that I'm some sort of schmuck
who doesn't have any friends.
No.
You know, my father,
he was an international tax attorney, right?
So, we moved around all the time.
I went to 13 different schools by the eighth grade.
I lived on four different continents.
And after a while I just figured,
"Why even make friends anymore?
"I'm just going to have to move, anyway. What's the point?"
And then, when my dad died, I took over the business.
I was just working so much. I was working too much.
Am I a loser?
No.
This is what you have to understand, Doug.
Some people are just loners.
It's that simple, man.
Maybe I don't want to be.
Maybe I just want someone to grab a beer with,
to go on a cool guy trip with.
You've never been on a guy trip, Doug?
Cabo, Cancun, spring break? You've never done anything like that?
I never really had anyone to go with.
Good night, Tonto.
I gotta say, it feels really good
to have somebody looking out for me.
I got your back, man.
I like that. And I got your back, too.
Hey, Doug.
I like you, man. I think you're a great guy.
I just want you to remember that this is a business relationship.
It doesn't mean that we're going to be best friends.
That's not how this story ends.
I'm just an employee with a job to do. I get it.
You're not my best friend. You're just my best man.
In one week, Bic will be on a plane
headed back to the Middle East.
Three months from now, he'll get killed in a tragic grenade accident
while giving an impromptu sermon on the back of a Humvee.
It doesn't mean that we're not going to have a good time, Doug.
I said I got it.
You're anybody's best friend for a price, but nobody's when it counts.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
♪ ♪ (DOOR OPENING)
Is everything okay? What's the matter with you?
I don't know.
Well, now.
I never expected the "Jimmy Callahan"
to get all soft-eyed over a client.
No, no, it's not like that.
All I do is go from job to job,
saving these losers with no friends.
Losers?
Come on, Jimmy.
They're not losers. They're just guys.
They don't share their private, deep emotional feelings
with each other like women do.
Women are nurturers.
We sit and listen to each other's problems.
Which is why we're always so miserable,
from all that goddamn listening.
(LAUGHING) You should count your blessings.
I still think they're losers.
Well, maybe you're right. But let me ask you this, Jimmy.
If you ever found a woman crazy enough to marry you,
who would be your best man?
♪ ♪
See, this all started because you wanted to make a guy feel good.
Do you remember how good you felt the first time you did this?
Well, you've lost that.
You've become jaded with all your rules.
You forgot what got you into this business in the first place.
Your ability to be a friend,
to change someone's life.
Now, Jimmy, we have less than a week
to pull off the first ever Golden Tux.
So, I'm going to need you to stop crying like a little girl,
strap on a pair,
stop wasting time feeling sorry for yourself,
and let's bring this shit home.
GARELICK: So we didn't have enough money for stunt doubles,
so Josh did all of his own stunts here.
GAD: That's right.
This was the day I broke my face.
GARELICK: You know what? It's funny, I remember
having a discussion with Josh right there
about that ball kick.
I was like, "You know what? Let's cut the ball kick.
"I think it's not gonna be funny."
Josh's like, "You gotta do the ball kick."
I was like, "All right, let's shoot it."
And then we shot it and it was funny.
GAD: It was great. GARELICK: Good job, Josh.
GAD: He was wearing a little ball pad.
That is one of the greatest stunts ever.
(CAR HORNS HONKING)
GARELICK: Yeah. We were really concerned Josh might get hit here.
GAD: I wasn't.
I know the power.
GARELICK: What's so funny is that he doesn't get hit,
then he just falls right on that curb. (BOTH LAUGHING)
GAD: Man, we shot...
We shot this bachelor party
over the course of two long, insane nights in Torrance.
GARELICK: How much fun was this shoot?
GAD: It was the most fun ever. I mean...
GARELICK: This... This was truly a party.
It was truly a party.
It was so fun. GAD: Featuring Aloe Blacc's hit song
that Jeremy's obsessed with. (GARELICK CHUCKLES)
Those t-shirts... I remember we were designing those t-shirts.
They're so funny. Do you have one of those?
GAD: I don't. I want one.
GARELICK: We gotta get some of those t-shirts.
GAD: Oh, Nicky Whelan, arguably one of the most beautiful women on earth.
GARELICK: Yeah, this was a hard day at work for Josh. GAD: Yes.
Every time my wife watches this film with me, she gives me just a scowl,
when she sees this.
Oh, this is happening. Shh.
Okay, so, here's the deal.
GAD: I think she's jealous that
we've never done anything in a bounce house.
GARELICK: When everybody walked in for auditions for this role,
there was nobody quite right.
There just was nobody quite right.
And when Nicky walked in,
there wasn't even... It was immediate.
I was like, "It's you. Let's... It's you."
And Clint asked if she can speak...
If Nicky could speak a foreign language.
And I called Nicky, I said, "Can you speak a foreign language?"
And she said, "No, but I can learn... I can learn something."
I'm like, "Good." I told Clint she could speak Italian.
(LAUGHING)
So she learned how to do it.
♪ Seen my man Sei that I knew from the projects
♪ Said he had beef, asked me if I had my piece
♪ Sure do I'm a bad boy
♪ Niggaz wanna front, who got your back? ♪ Biggie
♪ Niggaz wanna flex Who got the gat? ♪
GARELICK: There's our rapist right there, raping Josh.
I mean, this is a bachelor party that I would have had,
if it was my bachelor party.
It's so good.
We wanted to do a sort of spin on
the classic '80s mud-wrestling scenes.
So I thought it would be funny, if we just lost the girls.
GAD: There's so many great homages to the '80s in this movie.
I think that's why I love it so much.
GARELICK: "Where did all the girls go?"
It was freezing in that chocolate.
GAD: By the way, this genuinely hurt.
GARELICK: I grew up in a batting cage
and, um, I just thought this would be funny
if we all ran across the batting cage.
Oh, man.
(YELLING)
All right. What is happening here?
GAD: Oh, yes. And then we get to Fletcher.
GARELICK: The famous Fletcher scene.
JIMMY: Nadia. No!
ALL: (CHANTING) Nadia! Nadia! We got through this already.
(SHUSHING) You smell so sweet.
ALL: Ohh!
GAD: No...
No, uh, large member has been called into question this much,
since, um, the end of Boogie Nights,
and I will tell you right now.
GARELICK: I think on the, um...
There's Fletcher. GAD: There he is.
Poor dog has retired from acting,
since this movie was made. (CHUCKLES)
GARELICK: My fraternity dog's name was, uh, Fletcher.
And that's where that name came from.
GAD: This is... GARELICK: Just a disgusting dog.
GAD: This dog...
GARELICK: Nobody ever cleaned Fletcher.
Why are you licking so rapidly?
GARELICK: It was not harmed in any way.
GAD: Except the trauma of having to do
what it's been told to do in this movie.
GARELICK: This dog was trained since the time it was four years old
to lick... (LAUGHS)
(DOG BARKS) (FLESH SQUELCHES)
(SCREAMING) (ALL GASP)
JIMMY: Oh, shit!
When you pull, it hurts!
Stick a finger in his ass!
JIMMY: Not my ass, the dog's ass!
GARELICK: You know, we were never gonna do that.
And then, um... I thought we would never
be able to get away with showing it.
And I, uh... When we were in prep, I was like,
"Maybe we should just have one." GAD: Mmm-hmm.
GARELICK: "Just because... Whatever."
And didn't you have to sign a waiver or something? I forgot what it was.
GAD: I had to sign something.
GARELICK: I was like, "We're probably never
"gonna be allowed to do it anyway."
But then we were like, "Let's just shoot it. Why not?"
And it turned out to be a big laugh.
GAD: This sequence made me laugh so much when we were shooting it.
Whoa, whoa! Red light, red light!
(ALL SCREAMING) (TIRES SQUEALING)
What the fuck was that? ENDO: Was that a cop?
No, it was just a cab.
(SIREN WAILING)
Shit! We have open bottles in here.
I can't go back to jail! I'm tired of fucking dudes!
You were the rapist? Finish your bottles!
JIMMY: Everybody, chill out! Put the bottles down,
put your drugs away. Do you hear me?
GAD: The guys in this scene are so funny.
GARELICK: "I'm only 15." All that... All that was improv.
Oh, God, Marci's going to kill me.
JIMMY: You're going to get through this, man. This isn't going to be long.
GAD: This cop's flashlight kept breaking
every single time we shot this.
GARELICK: That cop is Rawson Thurber,
director of Dodgeball, We're the Millers, and a good friend of mine,
and, um, isn't really an actor.
But, the guy who was supposed to do this,
like, fell out, literally, the day before.
And he looks like a cop.
GAD: Rawson does look like a cop.
GARELICK: God, the flashlight outtakes.
Have you seen the flashlight outtakes?
GAD: Yes, it's hysterical. (GARELICK LAUGHING)
GARELICK: Oh, God. Ritchson is killing me.
God, I wish we had the long version
of this scene in the movie, too.
GAD: I do, too.
GARELICK: There's so much fun stuff that's not in the movie.
Is that a dog?
Yeah. Why is his mouth on your genitals?
(EXHALES) Oh, God.
(YELLING)
JIMMY: Lou, what the fuck are you doing?
FITZGIBBONS: What in the fuck, Lou?
Stop the car, you old dick!
(SIREN WAILING)
Lou, watch the Buick on your right!
(GLASS SHATTERING)
Do you have to hit every single meter, Lou?
Come on, what are you doing, Lou? LOU: No guts, no glory!
It's a one-way street! I know! It's the way I'm going!
LURCH: Look out! BRONSTEIN: Stop the car!
LURCH: I hate you, Lou! JIMMY: Fuck, Lou, stop!
(ALL SCREAMING)
JIMMY: Lou, this is a closed road!
LURCH: You're going the wrong way, Lou!
REGGIE: I don't have a fucking seat belt on, Lou!
Holy shit! There's a gap in the bridge!
(ALL SCREAMING)
LURCH: We're all going to die! JIMMY: Oh, my God!
No!
♪ ♪
(ALL GRUNTING)
Oh, my God!
ENDO: We made it! (ALL CHEERING)
LOU: Yeah! Suck on this, copper.
Nadia.
Hey. You waited all night for me?
You know, last night,
that was the greatest night of my entire life.
I don't think I've ever felt a connection to anybody like that before.
I know you can't understand any of this.
But I... Tonto.
How is it hanging?
(GROANS) I'm kind of numb.
What did they do?
Oh, they put some stitches in your penis head.
The doctor said you'll be okay, though.
Come on, kiss her goodbye.
I've gotta go. It was really great getting to know you.
♪ ♪
It was great getting to know you, too.
Wait. You speak English?
Thanks for having me out again, Jimmy.
(SIGHS) Doug here is a real keeper.
Call me sometime. Maybe we can catch a Dodger game.
"Dodger game" is code-word for fucking.
(ALL SNORING)
Fellows.
DOUG: Where's Lou?
Lou had to go away for a while.
He said it was worth it, though.
(BLOWING) (ALL EXCLAIMING)
Burn this.
♪ ♪
(WHOOPS)
I haven't felt this good, this happy since...
Since ever.
Did you take one of those pills Plunkett was handing out?
The ones that looked like Altoids? Yes! Did you take one?
Yeah, I took one. What did I tell you?
You said don't take anything that looks like drugs.
Then why did you take it? Because it looked like an Altoid.
It wasn't an Altoid, Doug.
Nah, I realized that soon after.
I said, "Stay your ass away from Plunkett." Didn't I tell you that?
Now, I know none of this is real,
but it's good to be one of the guys.
It really is.
♪ ♪
Come on. Let's go get you cleaned up, man.
So, uh, let's just go and knock this thing out, man.
We'll make you look great, rock your wedding,
send you off to Tahiti so you can blow Gretchen's back out.
Knock her back loose.
And then, we ship Father Bic off to his untimely death.
I was thinking about what you asked me the other day about Gretchen.
Mmm-hmm.
And on our third date, she said something
about wanting to start a family,
how she was ready to have kids.
And I don't know, ever since I lost my family,
I've always wanted to make one of my own.
Hey, do me a favor.
Be very gentle with my car. I've seen your car...
Ain't nobody gonna mess up this shit.
Okay.
Why don't you go put some ice on your dick?
Yeah. No kidding, right? God.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Hello. I got a problem.
I can't be there on Saturday.
What are you talking about, Garv?
Marci's dad found a butt plug in the glove compartment.
She knows I'm working with you again.
I had to promise to fix the kitchen cabinets to get her to calm down.
No. You're going to be there. Do you hear me?
I'll call Marci myself. Is that what you want me to do?
I'll tell her about Kokomo.
MARCI: Lurch, where are you?
Look, Jimmy, come on. No, don't "Look, Jimmy" me.
I'm not playing the "Look, Jimmy" game.
No, we all made a pact.
You said the kitchen cabinets would be done by today.
Just tell Marci that you'll do the kitchen cabinets on Sunday.
Jimmy, go die in a fire! I hate you.
I hope your dick gets chopped off.
Roger Delta Niner.
And may God bless whoever else is on this.
(MARCI YELLING INDISTINCTLY)
Hey. Who is Jimmy?
Jimmy is actually a tag.
It's a tag name. Military code.
Military code?
So, I suppose I shouldn't pry into
the meaning of "kitchen cabinets" then, either.
For your safety, no. I would kind of leave it alone.
(CHUCKLES) All right, I'll see you at the rehearsal dinner.
See you then.
Father. Okay.
Oh, God.
HAL LANE: Six violins, two violas, two cellos,
one contrabass, one electric bass,
two guitars, one drum set, and I'll be singing.
And your first dance will be to what song?
To our song, You Are So Beautiful.
That's by Joe Cocker. Thanks.
GAD: My favorite scene in the entire movie,
Jeremy had the balls to cut out,
which was a long monolog
explaining, uh, what exactly happened
between Kaley and her favorite boyfriend
during this sequence.
And Kaley was a tour de force.
And that needs to be on the extras, 'cause she's incredible.
DOUG: ...because you've told me this story about five times.
So...
GARELICK: Jeff Ross, I've been a fan of for, probably, 20 years.
GAD: Jeff Ross.
GARELICK: I know him from the New York City comedy circuit.
GAD: Come on, the guy is
so freakin' crazy funny,
it's insane.
GARELICK: He came... I wanted him to be a groomsman.
I knew I wanted him in the movie.
I wanted him to be a groomsman, but I, um...
He just felt, like, a little bit out of place for the groomsman.
I called him, I said, "Would you want
"to be a band leader, to play Hal Lane?
"It's so funny. It's a funny part."
GAD: He is Hal Lane. GARELICK: He said he would love it.
His grandfather was a band leader.
GAD: Yeah.
GARELICK: And he took so much pride in it.
This was the Inglourious Basterds shot.
GAD: Did you always plan to have Kevin look in the lens?
GARELICK: Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
GAD: Now, this... This scene, the most magical scene in the movie.
Jeremy had always wanted rain for this scene.
But, of course, nobody would sponsor rain.
So he couldn't get it. GARELICK: So I called God. (LAUGHS)
GAD: And suddenly for the first time in, like, a year,
it started raining out of nowhere in the middle of Los Angeles.
They had already brought in mud from elsewhere to the field.
So now it's raining, creating wetter mud.
It's freezing outside.
GARELICK: John Riggins right there,
knocking them down. GAD: Uh-huh.
John Riggins,
Joe Namath, "Too Tall" Jones.
GARELICK: Ed "Too Tall" Jones gets the catch.
GAD: Incredible group.
Playing alongside Hall of Famers.
GARELICK: John Riggins, um, he had had MCL surgery three weeks before,
so he called me, he was like,
"Listen, I just want to tell you I can't run around."
And, um, I said, "Don't worry. You just have to stand there.
"You're stunt doubles will do everything."
So his stunt double went to lay a block on Josh.
And John's like,
"You know what? Let me try one. Let me try one." (CHUCKLES)
And then he went and hit...
And, uh, John Riggins can throw a hit.
GAD: Riggins is incredible. All these guys.
What the fuck? I'm in a wheelchair!
DOUG: He's in a wheelchair!
GARELICK: This was the greatest day...
This was my favorite day of shooting.
GAD: It's one of my favorite days of shooting. Ever.
OLDER PLAYER 5: Blue dog left, Omaha!
GARELICK: Joe Namath. (CHUCKLING)
I was just yelling things for Joe Namath to say.
And I don't think he was thinking,
he was just repeating what I was saying.
GAD: So funny. GARELICK: And it was so funny.
ED: You're such a fucking embarrassment.
OTIS: Your father-in-law is a dick.
FITZGIBBONS: Oh, God, 72 just bit me! JIMMY: All right, that's it.
(ALL CHEERING)
GAD: And then, of course, Jeremy had the inspired idea
to put one of my favorite songs in the history of cinema
into this sequence.
You're The Best Around from Karate Kid.
Which, every time, gives me goose bumps.
GARELICK: Nice little serving.
This was just...
Oh, God. We just wanted it to be muddy and disgusting.
And we just wanted our guys to just kick these old guys' ass. (GAD LAUGHS)
It's so violent.
GAD: It's so inappropriately violent. (GARELICK LAUGHS)
GARELICK: I love when Josh...
My favorite moment is when Josh
just flat out punches the guy in the face. (GAD LAUGHS)
(GRUNTING) (SCREAMING)
OLDER PLAYER 1: Hut one.
DOUG: Fumble!
I've got the ball! I've got the ball!
JIMMY: This way, Doug!
GAD: Kevin Hart, by the way, refused to put any mud on his face.
Much like he refused to come in this morning,
'cause he's too sick-y.
He's got tummy ache.
GARELICK: Josh was such a trouper. You were such a trouper on these days.
I know it was not...
I get this is not your cup of tea,
you felt more comfortable dancing.
But you were such a trouper. (GAD LAUGHS)
And you were amazing. GAD: It was fun.
GARELICK: It was freezing and cold.
And everybody threw me in the mud afterwards.
I was so excited.
GAD: Now that's got to be a... What did you...
Did you guys use that shot from something else?
GARELICK: Oh, no. We shot everything.
GAD: There were birds on our field? GARELICK: Yeah.
100%. 100%.
I had, um...
One of the things that I had is, I always had an extra camera
picking up anything around...
GAD: That's great. GARELICK: ...at all times.
GAD: That's what a good director does, Jeremy, you learned really quick.
GARELICK: It was an accident, by the way. (LAUGHS)
GAD: Now, I had to get to a Bon Jovi concert this night
to take my wife for her birthday.
And we were, like, losing light quickly.
And because of the conditions on the field
and because of my, let's just say, lack of athleticism,
it was very hard for me to catch the football. (GARELICK CHUCKLES)
So we kept having to, uh, do it take after take after take.
And then finally, like, literally as the light went down,
we finally got the one that we used on camera, on film.
GARELICK: This is homage to, uh, some of my favorite football movies of all time.
GAD: The Rudy music is just...
It always... It really does. GARELICK: It makes you cry.
GAD: I love that you just so openly use homages... GARELICK: From everywhere.
GAD: But it's great.
GARELICK: You know, we kept on...
This was the temp score that was in there.
And we kept on trying to find new score and make new score.
And every single time, I'm like, "It's not as good as Rudy."
Because it... When you hear this music,
it takes you back to... GAD: Yeah.
GARELICK: ...that same emotional... GAD: It's true.
I actually saw a guy crying in a theater once during this
and it made me laugh so hard.
GARELICK: His girlfriend just broke up with him.
(CHUCKLES) GAD: He's just genuinely like...
Yeah, something happened at home.
GARELICK: I may have cried last night during this, by the way.
GAD: It's so good. You were the guy.
GARELICK: Mmm-hmm.
I love the matching.
All of our wardrobe people were
talking about how to match all the mud. (CHUCKLES)
I was like, "Don't worry about it. It'll be fine."
GAD: No matching going on.
GARELICK: To all you directors out there,
don't worry about matching anything or continuity,
it doesn't matter. (LAUGHS)
♪ ♪
JIMMY: I'm so happy for you, man.
(LAUGHING)
You're not a bitch!
♪ ♪
GRETCHEN: I told you guys to be careful.
I knew someone would get hurt. Look at this.
Well, to be fair, we were just having fun
until your dad and his friends
decided to make it an MMA blood sport.
Don't pin this shit on me. REGGIE: Hey, hey, now.
Hey!
Oh, my God. Who the hell are those guys?
DOUG: What are you talking about? Those are my friends.
That's Principal Mitchell Rambis from Utah.
In the wheelchair, that's Plunkett.
And that's the brilliant philosopher, Ira Drysdale.
GRETCHEN: No. No, no.
That's the strangest looking group
of guys I've ever seen in my life.
What do you mean? Those are my boys. What's up, man?
How are you doing, Doug?
My, this has been a long time coming, hasn't it?
Palmers, it's an honor.
Mrs. Palmer, I see where Gretchen gets her
(STUTTERS) good looks.
Thank you.
FITZGIBBONS: Gretchen. Yes.
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
It's a pleasure finally meeting the love of Doug's life.
Thank you. Hey, Grandma... What the...
DOUG: Oh, wait, Bic, I meant to tell you,
Grandma made a full recovery.
She's doing really well. Doesn't she look good, guys?
ALL: Yeah.
That's something else to look at there. It's very pretty.
♪ ♪
(CAMERA CLICKING)
What are you doing? Nothing.
What are you feeding him? Oh, what are you talking about?
(ALL LAUGHING)
That. He wasn't like that until you showed up.
That's the Doug that I know.
I've never seen that Doug before.
Hi, everyone. Hi. I'm Holly Munk.
I'm the head bridesmaid.
Twenty bucks says they wrote a song.
$40 says it's The Carpenters. You're on.
You're onner.
You're on first. You're more on.
You're on from God.
You're never going to believe this, Gretch,
but we wrote you a little ditty. (PEOPLE EXCLAIMING)
Yes. And if everyone wants to look under your seats,
you're going to find the lyrics
so that everybody can sing along. (WOMAN SQUEALS)
And we're singing to the tune of
Lean on Me.
Pay up, Father.
I don't have any cash. I only have credit.
Do you take credit cards? Oh, no, I only take cash.
Oh, excuse me, Ms. Maid of Honor. What?
Are you going to chat all night or are you
going to come up and sing with us?
Do you think you're too good? No, this is your guys' thing.
HOLLY: What, do you think you're too pretty?
God always wins.
That's why you're going up there. God is a winner.
Let's go, bitch. Come on. I'm coming.
ALL: ♪ It's that time in your life
♪ Bum-bum ♪ When you wear something blue
♪ Bum-bum
♪ And something borrowed
♪ Gretchen was dumped
♪ By handsome Steve
♪ We'll just hit up the Supper Club And make some mistakes ♪
How long did we rent the place for? Sing it!
♪ Do you remember ♪
Oh, Christ.
♪ Baton twirling ♪
That's the end of the song. Oh, thank God.
(APPLAUSE) (WOMAN WHOOPING)
Since none of us are songwriters,
we decided to put together a little slide show
to toast our buddy.
He was stealing ladies' hearts since long before we knew him.
(GUESTS LAUGHING) (LAUGHING)
His friendship came with an instant
half-point boost to all our GPA's.
You never could crack 2.5, Dickerson!
You got me there, buddy.
He also taught us things
that you can't learn in a classroom.
Whether it was bowling at regionals. GUESTS: Aw.
Running the Santa Monica Marathon.
It was a close call with the Kenyan.
You ran? Yeah.
Navigating the rapids of Colorado.
OTIS: Scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef.
What?
Climbing the glaciers
of Patagonia. Hmm.
Jumping out of a plane at 10,000 feet. (GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
JIMMY: Help him out, guys. You got it?
Yeah.
After I was hit by a drunk driver
who was found innocent,
(GUESTS GASPING)
it was Doug who helped me pay
for my law school tuition.
GUESTS: Aw.
That's so sweet.
(CRYING) It was you.
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
(SOBBING)
JIMMY: That's okay.
The only thing that gets hard is my nipples.
Oh, dear.
(WHISPERS) Let's get him out of here.
Way to keep it together, buddy.
I wanted to quit grad school
until Doug told me the story of Plunkett.
Which inspired me to stay. JIMMY: He inspired us all.
When he wasn't hitting those books,
old Doug-town was teaching us all how to have fun.
JIMMY: Yeah, he was. BRONSTEIN: Doug-man.
(LAUGHING)
JIMMY: I think we saved the best for last.
This last shot is actually my favorite.
This was a historic guy trip with my closest friend.
As you can see in this picture
and in all the other pictures,
Doug is smiling,
but I think we can all agree that in this shot,
that smile got a whole lot brighter.
(GUESTS EXCLAIMING)
I love you, bud.
(GUESTS CHEERING)
♪ ♪
I was a bit surprised when I met your groomsmen.
I mean, actually, terrified. Like, "Wah! What is that?"
But I've got to say, they're really good guys.
(CLATTERS) Oops.
(CLEARS THROAT)
DOUG: Honey, are you there?
GRETCHEN: I'm definitely going to have Alison be my maid of honor.
I mean, no one can fight over that.
But, babe, what about you? Who's going to be your best man?
Uh...
Mitchum. Bic Mitchum.
Who? (SPITS)
You know Bic. Bic Mitchum.
He's a buddy of mine from Stanford.
No, I've never heard of Bic Mitchum.
Didn't you meet Bic at that... I met Bic?
You know, maybe on second thought, you didn't meet Bic because, um...
Because why? He's overseas,
uh, in the military.
Oh, you know what? Now that you mention it...
I think you have said something about him.
Isn't he a priest or something?
Yeah. That's right. Yeah, I knew it.
He's a priest overseas in the military.
GRETCHEN: But our wedding's in 10 days.
DOUG: But Bic's still in...
Uh, El Salvador.
Bic is flying in tomorrow morning.
In April I was in the Middle East. Muffin juice.
Bring him to lunch with you. No!
(SCREAMING) GRETCHEN: I am...
Oh, my God!
...dying to finally meet this guy.
(LAUGHING)
I'm dying to finally meet all your friends.
Who the hell are those guys? Those are my friends.
I am still missing the groomsmen's information.
GRETCHEN: Those are the strangest group of guys
I've ever seen in my life.
DOUG: Your friends are gonna be there.
My friends are all gonna be there.
DOUG: (ON PHONE) Sweetie.
Hey. Hon?
Gretchen, are you there?
Doug.
Don't you think it's a bit strange
that you use Bic razors and Mitchum deodorant...
GAD: This is so great. It's such a...
Once again, a brilliant homage
to one of my favorite movies, Usual Suspects.
And when we first shot this, I was like, "It's gonna be..."
You know, it was a plot device, whatever,
but seeing an audience respond the way they do,
when Doug finally...
When Doug finally figures out how to play the game,
it is so wonderful, 'cause they just get it.
GARELICK: Most people are not going to understand this,
but, um, he does set up that, uh,
Dan Gill does a mean Tom Jones and here he's doing Tom Jones.
GAD: Most people don't get that. I didn't get this.
GARELICK: Nobody did. I'm the only... That's why I'm explaining it.
(LAUGHING)
♪ As she deceived me
♪ I watched and went out of my mind ♪
DOUG: And I said, "It's called loyalty."
I didn't teach you that.
No, that can't be taught. You're born with that.
You look good, man.
Thank you. I wish I could say the same for you.
(LAUGHING)
So, you know, as I'm getting dressed,
I'm thinking to myself how insane what we're doing is.
You just started thinking that?
Well, I mean, she's going to be my wife.
Shouldn't I be able to tell her the truth?
I mean, the key to relationships
is being honest, you know?
Up to a point.
It's all about making her happy, Doug. All right?
Come on. Let's go get you married.
Ah.
You look good, man.
(EXHALES)
ALL: ♪ My, my, my, Delilah
♪ Why, why... ♪
Hey, fellows.
Gather around.
Hey, hey. Guys, guys. (ALL CONGRATULATING)
This is one of the few times that
you're actually going to hear me be honest.
Nine days ago, I didn't think a Golden Tux was possible.
But in less than an hour, we're going to have
200 unsuspecting guests
filling those pews to celebrate some holy matrimony.
Which means that from this moment on, we are flawless, gentlemen.
Have each other's backs out there.
LURCH: Support each other.
Remember your HW2's, your boomerangs,
and your Party Trick Distractions.
Drysdale, set it off. What time is it?
It's game time!
I said, what time is it?
ALL: It's game time!
Guys, guys, I'm down here. Guys.
(ALL CHEERING)
Douglas! Hi! Perfect timing.
I was just telling Papa Bear here
that we did have a little bit of a "scandal"
with Father O'Brien.
He will not be able to officiate the wedding.
But it's okay. Rest assured,
I have everything under control
because Father McNulty here,
he has agreed to step
as a replacement of the shoes
of Father O'Brien.
Hello, Doug. Hi. Great to meet you.
Father McNulty is a wonderful priest.
I'm just happy the big day's finally here, to be honest with you.
I would love for you to meet all my friends.
This is my best man, Bic.
Uh, Bic must have gone a different way.
Uh, would you guys mind going to look for Bic?
I'd love for him to be caught up on all this.
KIP: I'm going to go see if he's praying.
What is going on?
What the hell is Father McNulty doing here?
How do you know Father McNulty?
Because he was my principal at Benjamin Rush.
I spent half my damn middle school years in his principal's office.
Please, please tell me that you are kidding me.
This cannot be happening right now. I need you to fix this.
What you want me to do? If I go out there,
he knows I'm not Bic Mitchum. Shh.
Wait. Wait. I think I have an idea.
(DOOR OPENS)
Father McNulty? Yes.
FITZGIBBONS: Go, go, go.
(CAMERA CLICKING)
(BODY THUDS) REGGIE: Oh, shit!
200 grand out the door,
I expect... No, I demand perfection.
Yes, Mr. Palmer, I assure you...
Listen, Menudo, first you tell me
my family priest is a goddamn pervert.
Now you tell me Father McNulty has disappeared.
Mr. Palmer, I'll take care of this.
You better or I will fuck you up.
(ORGAN PLAYING WAGNER'S BRIDAL CHORUS)
♪ ♪
Shall we do this?
Do you, Gretchen Palmer,
take Douglas Ephraim Ben Lazar Menahem Harris
to be your lawfully wedded husband,
to have and to hold,
through sickness and health,
till death do you part?
I do.
Do you, Douglas Ephraim Ben Lazar Menahem Harris,
take Gretchen Palmer
to be your lawfully wedded wife,
to have and to hold,
through sickness and health, till death do you part?
I do.
(CHUCKLES)
I now pronounce you husband and wife. (CHUCKLES)
(GUESTS LAUGHING) You may now kiss the bride.
GUESTS: Aw. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you
Mr. and Mrs. Harris.
(WEDDING MUSIC PLAYING)
You are about to blow that back out.
Don't do this here. Don't do that.
What? Nothing.
I'm a lounge singer myself up there in Canada.
What kind of stuff do you sing?
That's when I knew I was born to work on feet.
You're a podiatrist? I'm a podiatrist.
(BLOWS)
Big deal.
Where did you go to school?
Uh...
You don't remember?
Harvard. I went to Harvard.
I'm really inspired by black, American soul singers.
Nice. Like Tom Jones.
You went to Harvard Podiatry School? Yeah.
What years? 20.
20?
Oh, wow. You work out, huh?
Isn't Tom Jones white?
Yeah, isn't he from Wales?
(GRUNTS) (SHOULDER DISLOCATES)
(GASPS) Oh, my God! Mom!
I'm fine. I'm fine. BRIDESMAID: Oh, my God.
Well, do you want to see? Boom. (ZIPPER OPENS)
Yeah, three balls. Count them.
I thought you said you was a vegan.
Okay, that's cool. (CHUCKLES)
I can do it, too. Stop.
That's mine.
I'm proud of you, Doug. I really am. Well, thank you, sir.
I have to say, I learned from the master.
Hey, well, don't celebrate yet.
We still have more work to do.
All right, I'm going to wait for you outside.
Ugh. Can you believe this zipper already broke? Okay, I'm coming.
Mrs. Harris, can I talk to you for a second? I'll get the thing.
Uh, listen, I may be partial here,
but I just want to say that you have put on
the perfect wedding. Really.
Perfect wedding? (SCOFFS)
The zipper on my $8,000 dress is broken,
the groomsmen are accosting my bridesmaids,
my grandmother's burned from head to toe, my dad's knee is shredded.
And don't even get me started on the salad dressing.
But at least you have Doug. True love conquers all.
True love? (SCOFFS)
Please. I'm just sick of dating assholes.
Doug is a good guy, he's good family material.
What can I say? I'm a girl
that's used to a certain kind of lifestyle,
and Doug can give me that kind of lifestyle.
So, I've gotta go.
Bud, are you waiting on me? Yeah. Yes.
Let's, uh, get back out there, huh? Yeah.
Time for the first dance. Yes, it is.
♪ You are so beautiful
(CAMERA CLICKING)
♪ To me
♪ You are so beautiful
♪ To me ♪
HAL LANE: Will the rest of the wedding party
please join the happy couple?
♪ You're everything I hoped for
♪ You're everything I need
So, who are you really?
I'm not sure I know what you mean by that.
There has just been some questionable behavior
over the last couple of days.
Like you setting my grandmother on fire. Oh.
The secret military codes. Mmm-hmm.
"Kitchen cabinets."
What you have to understand is that the Lord works
in mysterious ways.
(LAUGHING) And he thanketh...
I don't know about the Lord.
You work in mysterious ways.
♪ ...me ♪
(APPLAUSE)
Thanks for the dance. No problem.
Thank you. (PEOPLE CHEERING)
I got to talk. We got to talk.
What's the problem? What's going on?
I think I made a terrible mistake.
Gretchen doesn't love me. She never has.
Stop it. Stop. Of course, she loves you.
Why would you even say that?
I overheard the two of you talking, okay?
Okay, listen. Maybe she's confused, or she has the jitters.
That's perfectly normal for a woman at this stage, Doug.
You have to understand that. It doesn't matter.
I don't love her, either.
I love the idea that a girl who looks that hot
could like me.
I couldn't believe it. But she's not "the one," Jimmy.
She's not even "the two"
or "the three," for that matter.
Doug, nine days ago, you came to me
and you asked me to pull off a miracle.
Right now, we're 30 minutes away
from pulling off a Golden Tux.
I know. But then what?
Then I go back to living what turns out
was a pretty lonely life. I don't want that life anymore.
I don't want to be that guy.
Doug, you have to calm down.
Everything is going to be all right.
I don't want it to be all right.
I want it to be great.
I want my real life to be
as fun as the one I paid for.
No shit, Doug.
You don't think I want that? Hmm?
You don't think I want to be a Delta Air Line pilot
or the CFO of Lubriderm
or whatever the hell else I made up,
instead of being some guy that works out of a renovated fucking closet?
You don't think I would ask Alison
to come out and have a burrito with me?
Me? With Jimmy Callahan?
Or say, "Hey, Doug, come on, let's go have a beer next week.
"Maybe we can catch a game."
I want to do all of that shit, but I can't.
Because I can't go out there and tell the truth.
Because you need Bic.
Nobody needs Jimmy, man.
Okay? Not a single soul needs Jimmy.
That's reality, Doug.
I'm going to go out here and I'm going to make my toast,
and me and you, we are done here.
We're done.
I suggest you get your head back in the game.
It's showtime.
Good evening. My name is Bic Mitchum,
and, uh, I just want to say
that it's an honor to be here.
I've delivered many sermons,
but never a best man's speech,
so, please bear with me.
(LAUGHING) (GUESTS LAUGHING)
Doug and I have been through a lot together.
Happy times and sad.
When I was accepted into the priesthood,
Doug was there waiting for me with a huge hug
and a Bible that was signed by Cardinal Enders.
And when his parents, Merle and Irene,
passed, God rest their souls,
I cried as if they were my own.
You know, my grandmother once told me
that the true measure of friendship isn't...
Isn't how you feel about someone else.
It's about how they make you feel about yourself.
And, uh...
I can honestly say that I've never had a friend
to make me feel the way that you have, Doug.
(CHUCKLES) Uh...
Um...
I'm sorry. Uh...
When Doug called me and told me that he wanted to propose,
I was nervous. I was probably just as nervous as he was.
And I remember asking him,
"Are you sure she's 'the one'?"
(MOUTHS) Damn it.
He told me he, uh...
Stop!
What are you doing? Just, uh, stop.
(CHUCKLES)
I don't know.
Doug. (GUESTS MURMURING)
(CHUCKLES)
What are you doing, Doug?
Are you sure that you want to go through with this?
Thanks, Jimmy. I've got it from here.
Hi. I've got something to say.
None of this is real. (GUESTS GASPING)
Ooh. Uh-oh.
What?
See, although the flowers are beautiful
and the salad dressing is great,
we're not married,
Gretchen and I. (GUESTS GASPING)
We can't be
because my friend Bic is not a priest.
Oh, shit, here we go.
Yeah. In fact, he's not even in the Army.
His real name is Jimmy,
and I hired him to be my best man
because I had no other options.
Same with all my groomsmen.
I actually don't even know their real last names.
Bronstein. ...is Japanese.
It's good to meet you guys. So, please stay
and enjoy the cake.
(GUESTS MURMURING)
What do we do now?
We need to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah. Great stuff tonight.
Thank you so much, bud.
Are you out of your fucking mind?
(ALL GASPING) (GASPS)
Look, Gretch, who were we kidding?
You didn't grow up dreaming of a guy like me.
Your knight is out there somewhere. Go find him.
ED: I'm going to tear your head off.
You goddamn motherfucking pathetic piece of shit.
Señor, let's just relax. Get out of my way, you fairy.
Fairy? (GRUNTS) (GUESTS GASPING)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Love you, Dougie! HOLLY: Calm down.
GRETCHEN: You motherfuckers!
I swear to God...
(SCREAMING) What the fuck?
I will cut you!
Shit, man.
Good game, kid. That was a hell of a catch.
(SLAPS) Oh.
All right. Thanks.
Hey. No ass-touching off the field, Joe.
I knew you were full of shit
from the moment I met you.
I know this is gonna sound crazy, but if you're ever in the mood,
I know a place that has great burritos.
You just ruined my sister's wedding
and you're asking me out on a date?
Yes, I am. Can I call you?
Yeah, you better. I will.
Oh.
(EXHALES) We were this close, Doug.
Yeah, well, maybe next time.
Yeah.
Oh.
Here.
GAD: This was... (CHUCKLES)
This shot took us longer than any other shot,
because the poor guy holding the dolly was like...
GARELICK: Dale.
GAD: Dale was getting car-sick shooting this scene.
We, literally, Kevin and I kept joking
that he needed to take Dramamine.
It was like one shot... It was supposed to be one shot. (CHUCKLES)
Yeah, why? I've got an idea.
GARELICK: First of all, the Steadicam was probably like 150 pounds.
GAD: It wasn't a dolly, he was holding it.
GARELICK: He was holding a Steadicam.
"To your first guy trip."
That was Adam Fields' suggestion.
GAD: It was great. GARELICK: As a callback.
Uh, producer Adam Fields said,
"You should say, 'To your first guy trip."'
And I was like, "That's a great idea, Adam."
That is LisaNova, who created Maker Films.
GAD: Really? GARELICK: Yeah.
She could fund the rest of our...
GAD: Of our dreams. GARELICK: ...of our dreams.
GAD: I'm not gonna lie, guys,
this is the hottest plane I've ever been on in my life.
You like that, don't you?
Is that a dog? You can't have a dog on the plane.
GAD: This sets up the inevitable sequel that Jeremy wants to make,
where we all go to Tahiti.
GARELICK: We had to bring the dog back, because we can't...
You never kill a dog.
And then
I always wanted us to sing "weed in the coconut,"
'cause I thought it was so funny.
And then Josh, once again, came up with a brilliant...
GAD: Callback? (CHUCKLES)
GARELICK: By the way, without even discussing it with anybody, he just did it.
The entire plane started...
You see people laughing up front.
GAD: And here's my favorite line.
I got a bad feeling about this flight.
GARELICK: And also Josh Gad's line.
GAD: Yes, I did.
I'm very proud of that line.
I'm more proud of that line than anything else I did.
GARELICK: Here's the, uh, end credits, as you can see.
Jimmy Callahan/Bic was played by Kevin Hart.
GAD: And now, uh, Jeremy and I have something to admit to you guys,
Kevin Hart has been here the entire time.
(IMITATING KEVIN HART) Hey, guys!
GAD: That's Kevin. GARELICK: Kevin, where...
GAD: He's just been hiding in the back of the room,
uh, 'cause he didn't want to talk.
Thank you guys so much for joining us today.
And we hope to see you again tomorrow,
when you have nothing else to do,
so you play this commentary over again (GARELICK CHUCKLES)
and listen to it and...
And keep us company, as we keep you company.
GARELICK: Thank you very much, guys.
GAD: I think this is the best shot scene in the movie, by the way.
GARELICK: It is really good.
It is really good. Andrew Ward, he makes, um...
He's a bee keeper, and he actually makes his own honey.
He was our second assistant director.
The great Valerie Bleth Sharp, our phenomenal producer.
GAD: Val is incredible.
GARELICK: Our associate producers, Chris and Nathan.
GAD: This is our great cutter, fitter, Ian Carter.
GARELICK: Nice.
GAD: Our amazing gaffer, Jeremy Launais.
GARELICK: Jeremy Launais. Jeremy Launais was a phenomenal gaffer.
GAD: What about our rigging gaffer?
GARELICK: Really handsome man, too. GAD: Duncan Sobel.
And then you can't forget the company grips.
Craig, Mark, Dustin, Frank,
Scott. GARELICK: Scott.
And, of course, the key rigging...
And, of course, Bill, he gets his own...
That must make the other guys feel really pissed off at him. (GARELICK CHUCKLES)
All right, guys, thank you so much.
GARELICK: Thank you very much.
Okay. Yeah. Okay?
Put your weight into it.
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING) Oh!
You hit me in my back.
I trust you, you're not gonna do it. Don't trust me!
(RACKET CLATTERING)